We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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