I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
being pregnant is like rehab
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
