I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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