How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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