theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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