i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
