My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
