Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
