sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
