Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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