you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
