Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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