just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
