Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
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