i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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