I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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