my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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