i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
