Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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