If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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