I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
third nipple confirmed
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
