I love black thongs
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I checked into jail on foursquare
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
