I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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