just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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