Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize