dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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