I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
this just has baby written all over it
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
