I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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