I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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