How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
