YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
