i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
