What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
