on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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