think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize