Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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