this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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