I look better un-naked...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
