I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
