How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
