well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
