So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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