I want to have your abortion
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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