Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
