U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
