My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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