Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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