So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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