So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
