I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
