i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
