Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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