in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
