I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she peed on how many people?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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