I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
