my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
