why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
