So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I lost the right to judge tonight
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
