I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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