Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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